Adjusting to an Autism Diagnosis Later in Life

In line with the recommendations for use of language in autism research[1][2][9] this article will use language that studies have shown is preferred by the majority of the autistic community, with the aim to centre autistic experience, increase awareness and reduce stigma towards autistic people. “Autism” or “autistic” will be used instead of “autism spectrum disorder (ASD)”; “autistic person” or “autistic individual” will be used instead of “person with autism”, “neurotypical” will be used instead of “normal person”.

Navigating the Identity Shift: Post-Diagnosis Recommendations for Late-Diagnosed Autistic Individuals

Receiving a late diagnosis of autism can be a profoundly transformative experience. For many, it marks the beginning of a new chapter—one filled with self-understanding, relief, and at times, complex emotions such as grief, anger, or confusion.

At Myndful Psychology, we recommend that individuals who receive a late diagnosis engage in a series of neurodiversity affirming therapy sessions. Why? Before continuing it is essential to recognise that no one needs therapy for being autistic, it is just a different neurotype, not a disorder or condition that requires "treatment."

A diagnosis of autism brings a shift in identity that deserves to be acknowledged, explored, and supported. Many late-diagnosed autistic individuals have spent decades trying to meet neurotypical standards—essentially trying to run PC software on an Apple system or, as the saying goes, being a fish trying to climb a tree. At best, they’ve felt “less than” and at worst, they've felt like complete failures.

Unlearning a lifetime of internalised ableism takes time and support.

Why Therapeutic Support Matters After Diagnosis

My post graduate research focused on the utility of autism diagnosis in older adults, and both my findings and clinical experience support what other researchers have also found, that a diagnosis that accurately explains and reflects an individuals lived experience, connection with neurodivergent peers, and individually tailored neurodiversity affirming psycho-education and support to encourage the transition from an identity as a “failed neurotypical” to a positive autistic identity, can have a positive impact on an individual’s life, facilitating increased self-awareness, self-acceptance and improved self-esteem[4][5][6][7][8][10]

A neurodiversity affirming therapeutic approach helps clients to reflect on their past and present experiences through a social model of disability perspective, rather than a purely medical one. This allows individuals to see that many of their challenges arise not from a deficit within themselves, but from navigating a world not built with their neurotype in mind.

This table contains a comparison of the medical model of autism vs the neurodiversity affirming perspective of autism.

Therapy focuses on increasing self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-compassion, self-esteem, self-efficacy and self-confidence, supporting clients to build psychological, social, and environmental scaffolding, to reduce distress and disability, encouraging a life where clients are in a position to identify and advocate for their needs, so they can spend more time on thriving rather than surviving.

An equally important part of self-acceptance and positive identity formation post diagnosis is connection with other autistic individuals. These peer connections with others with similar lived experiences, can provide validation, solidarity, and community—powerful antidotes to years of feeling “othered.” By embracing a neurodiversity-affirming perspective, individuals can reframe their diagnosis from a medical model focused on deficits to a recognition of their unique strengths and differences, allowing them to navigate the world with greater confidence and authenticity.

Core Recommendations for Supporting Late-Diagnosed Autistic Clients

1. Start with Psychoeducation

• Provide accurate education on the social and medical history of autism from a neurodiversity affirming social model of disability perspective.
• Explain to clients how the autism criteria in the DSM have changed with every edition since it was first introduced in 1980. Including the key changes outlined below:
• Acknowledge that until 2013 and the release of the DSM-5, you couldn’t diagnose autism with ADHD or anxiety (or many other co-occurring diagnoses).
• Explain that the concept of an individual masking their autistic traits into adulthood wasn’t introduced until the DSM-5 in 2013 and prior to this, an individual had to show external traits of autism before the age of 3 for a diagnosis.

This early provision of psychoeducation can be essential in helping people get through the anger and grief they might feel towards their parents, teachers, and health professionals regarding why they weren’t diagnosed earlier.

2. Engage in Meaningful Therapy

Therapeutic support can focus on helping individuals explore and understand:

• How they meet (and don’t meet) specific DSM-5-TR autism diagnostic criteria.
• Identifying common autistic traits, they have as well as those they don’t have.
• The ways their neurotype has shaped their experiences socially, academically, professionally, and psychologically.
• Understanding the different ways these traits can present in different people.
• Translating that knowledge of their traits into an awareness and understanding of how they relate to their daily challenges and successes (socially, professionally, educationally, psychologically, and physically).
• Forming connections with others of their same neurotype. This can be the most healing piece of all. Being around others who communicate in a similar way and have experienced similar challenges can be incredibly validating and healing.

This process fosters self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-efficacy, all of which are protective factors for long-term mental health.

3. Seek Neurodivergent Voices

Encourage individuals to seek out content by neurodivergent researchers, clinicians, and advocates. There’s a wealth of information available through:

• Books and audiobooks
• Podcasts and YouTube channels
• Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok accounts
• Webinars, virtual summits, and conferences

Hearing from people with lived experience is often more impactful than reading only clinical descriptions.

4. Find Your Community

One of the most healing steps an individual can take is to connect with others of their neurotype. Whether through support groups, shared interest communities (like book clubs or crafting groups), or identity-specific forums (e.g., for LGBTQIA+ neurodivergent adults), these connections can offer deep validation and comfort. Importantly, individuals should be encouraged to seek these relationships in ways that feel safe and sustainable — whether that’s online or in-person.

A Final Word

A late autism diagnosis doesn’t change who someone is—it simply gives them a clearer lens through which to view their life, and often for the first time in their lives, actually understand and accept themselves. With appropriate psychoeducation, therapeutic support, and affirming community, individuals can transition from lives that are often dominated by feelings of failure, not measuring up, and / or cycles of regular chronic burnout, into lives of self-understanding, pride and empowerment.

At Myndful Psychology, we’re here to walk alongside you through that journey—whether you're newly diagnosed, supporting a loved one, or seeking to understand yourself better.